Resolutions.

2010 keeps coming closer. A new year, a fresh start. It's time to think of some resolutions. What are you going to change about your way of living, way of being, during the upcoming year? As we approach 2010, and think about those changes we want to make in our lives, it's easy to feel stressed out. Many people feel like they need to make a lot of changes in their lives, just to create this 'perfect life' and 'perfect human being'. And I'm not saying it's bad to think that way, 'cause it's not. It's really good that you can realize that you're not perfect and that there are things that need to be fixed. Because no-one is perfect. But it can also turn out to make you feel very insecure. You feel like there are so many wrong things about your lifestyle that need to be changed, that you're a horrible person the way you are now. You can't wait for the new year to start to work on those 'mistakes'. I really think that's bad for your selfesteem. Because when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to, you will become even more depressed. And I don't think all that drama is necessary. That's why I want to challenge all of you to make one change, in stead of a million. One small change, repeated every day of 2010. One small change can already change your whole lifestyle. A million different changes really aren't necessary.
You just need to make one important & thoughtfull change.
Last year I made only one resolution too: Read in the bible every single day. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. And that one small change made a huge difference in my life. So think about it these last few days: What one change do you need to make?

Persistence.

What is persistence? Persistence is the beginning of success, it's its foundation. You won't have any success without it. But what exactly is success? There are many ways to describe it. One is that you have success when you're internally happy and satisfied. Another is your education and the way you use it in your life. Although there are a billion ways to describe this success, there is only one way to describe its failure: giving up. No matter what your definition of success is, if you give up and lose persistence, you won't achieve it. Every person in the world is born without knowing the concept of failure. We never knew we could give up. Think about how you learned to walk. The first time you tried, you immediately fell down. The second time you tried, the same thing happened. You didn't know it was possible not to succeed, so you kept trying and trying. You never gave up. 'Cause if you would've, you would've still been crawling right now. So I guess that means we all had persistence the first few years of our lifes. But as we grow we learn there is something called giving up. We learn there is something called failure. I mean, it gets proven to us all the time:
'Don't waste your energy, it will never work.'
'Why don't you give up already?'
'I already tried that, it doesn't work.'
If we were told that bullshit when we were still trying to walk, we wouldn't have believed it. So if we didn't listen to bad advice then, why listen to it now? It only makes us give up faster and lose our persistence. And we won't achieve our goals that way. So if you ever feel like giving up, you MUST keep going, no matter what. Even if it seems impossible, do not give up. 'Cause if you do, you fail. You fail to achieving your success. Only by continuing you will succeed. You never know when you'll reach your goal & where it's waiting for you, but it sure waits for you somewhere. So if you fall down 2 times, you stand up 3. If you fall down 6 times, you stand up 7. That's what persistence means in my eyes: standing up 1 more time than you fall down.
My conclusion is that only by having persistence, you will achieve your goals, your definition of success, whether it means internal happiness or making a lot of money.

Rain.

It's raining and I love it. I enjoy the sound: it's relaxing. It lets me drift away. Far from where I am. Far from where I'm supposed to be. I start to think about everything. I think of my past, I think of the present, I think of my future. But I mostly think about the negative things that are happening or have happened in my life. I think about how I lost people I cared about and how I let people ruin my life. I think about betrayal, people that can't be trusted and situations that ruined a part of me. Situations that tore my heart into pieces and made me lose my mind for a while. But when I'm done thinking about the negative things, I realize that I'm still alive and that I'm still happy. I think about how that can be possible. I think about my friends who've always been there for me, who've always trusted me, who've always respected me. I think about how much friends actually mean to me, how badly I need them in my life. How badly I need them to comfort me, to protect me and to encourage me. I think about how much I actually love them and how horrible my life would be if I'd lose even one of them.
So after a while the rain makes me realize that my life really isn't as bad as I think it is sometimes, because while listening to the relaxing sound I know that me and my friends are able to win the fight. The fight of us against pain, us against fear, us against anger, us against sadness. It's me & my friends against the world. And that's why I love the rain.

Dilemmas.

What is a dilemma? If you look it up in the dictionary it will probably say that a dilemma is a situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives. I think everyone has had a dilemma before. I also did. You're in a situation where you can choose between a few things. Let's say you can choose between 2 things: the smart thing to do or the thing you've been wanting to do for a long time. 'Cause that's what it's like in most cases. In other words you have to choose between doing what your brains tell you to do or following your heart.
Everywhere it's been told that you need to follow your heart, follow your instincts. But what if that brings very much trouble afterwards? What if your whole life gets even harder? What if everything would get even more complicated if you'd do what your heart tells you to do? Would you still follow your instincts? I think I wouldn't. I think I would do what my brain tells me I need to do and get over the fact that I won't get what I was longing for, for so long.
But the thing is that we don't know that from the start. It's like life wants us to make the wrong choice so it can punish us. So it can make us feel bad about ourselves. Maybe that's why I'm as insecure as I am. It's like life lets us make the decision first and afterwards let us know we chose wrong, whether we chose to do the smart thing or the thing our hearts told us to do. No matter what, we chose the wrong thing. 'Cause for some reason, to me, that's what it always seems like. It's like when you choose to do the smart thing, life gets boring, so you don't want to make that mistake again. But when you do what your heart wants you to do, you'll get in more trouble. Everything in your life gets worse and more complicated. And that's not the way you want life to be either.

So what do you do when you're in a dilemma? Would you go for the safe&smart,but boring thing the brain wants you to do, or the risky&dangerous, fun thing your hearts wants to let you do.

Does everything have an ending?

Everything ends somewhere. A book has an ending, a song stops after a few minutes and the earth stops where the universe begins. But where does the universe end? How far can you go through the universe without anything stopping you? Or is there maybe even something bigger than the universe. Is the universe a very small part of something else, like earth is a very small part of the universe? Does the universe ever end?

Also, they have said many times that the world would end, but it never happend. Now they say the world will end in 2012 and I wonder if it's true. Can 2012 really be the ending of life? Can 2012 really be the ending of pretty much everything that exists? Like a book can end on page 428? Like a song ends after 3 minutes and 48 seconds?
And what about the word 'forever'. What does that mean? Does 'forever' have an end? If you say that you love someone forever. When does that love for the person end? I mean, it must be ending somewhere, right? If you love someone forever, is forever over when you die? Or is there still the spirit that carries the love for that person? If you love someone forever, does that really mean forever, without an ending?

So now I wonder.. Do things that have absolutely no end whatsoever exist? Or does everything end somewhere, sometime?